February 2012
The thing that made me cry this morning. →
Queer love. First love. or not first love
“Elsa, I think of hearts when I think of love, of course, but also I think of lungs. At UCSF Medical Center I studied the lungs of a 30-year-old who died of prostate cancer. He had greenish, standard-issue tattoos. The lungs were not bags like I thought they’d be. They were like sea sponges. They were clean. He’d never lived in the...
The texan has chided me for being too crass on my blog.
My filter is weird y’all. I’ll talk about fisting with strangers, but I won’t let my lovers see me cry. I post pictures of myself on the internet, but refuse to let people i fuck read my blog (and the one that did I couldn’t deal with because there’s this weird line that i don’t like to have crossed).
...
“Thinking that there’s some magical “future plan” that is all...”
– real talk from my bff (yeah i mean - i don’t think it has to do with age, but still…)
Last night i went to Heavy Rotation and it was probably one of my favorite queer dance party nights to date. The crowd was awesome, lots of folks dancing and hanging out. Someone slipped me their number at the end of the night, which like never happens to me. One of my favorite people in the world was wearing a leather tie that looked like reigns, so i was riding them for lots of the evening....
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oh y’all.
what’s that i say about how love is all about timing? yeah. That. I think what i mean is that you can love anytime, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to all work out in ways that are uncomplicated.
I’m a tenderheart, despite the giant walls around me. I love in complicated ways. I don’t like the easiest path. Queer relationships don’t...
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“Hedonist rhymes with fist”
– the texan
“No one deserves anything. Fortune and fate have nothing to do with merit. No one...”
– Dear Coke Talk: On why it’s okay to feel your feelings.
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“Stop having sex to fill an emotional void, don’t confuse loneliness for being...”
– Dear Coke Talk: On why it’s okay to feel your feelings.
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I’m really not great at sexy talk. Which is weird for someone who spent years doing sex work.
So I’m just confessing that my usual response to sexy photos/texts is something like “I WANT THAT”
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It’s a bjork morning (Debut and Post)
My tax return showed up and it’s taking all my willpower to not spend it all immediately.
Things I’ve pondered already:
kindle (the cheapy one)
jeggings
dangly earrings
boots (sadly the tall ones i wanted are sold out)
presents
LUSH products
Things I’ve done with some of the money already:
Put 20% in savings
Paid some money...
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astrobarry horoscope: Leo
jesus fuck…
It’s becoming an increasingly awkward proposition for you, Leo, to continue safeguarding the sweet notion of togetherness and, at the same time, to take care of your personal business. That’s not to say it’s completely impossible, if you’ve been sharing yourself with someone who understands that love (or at least enjoyable companionship) cannot always...
Trying to decide if i want to get my nipples pierced tonight. what is my life?
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Love at first sight →
Act Three made me cry like a baby just now.
I’m fully considering going to austin only for gay-bi-gay-gay (Sunday) and some post-sxsw fun this year.
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calloutqueen:
i think fingering someone while i have a teengirl manicure would be really hot
This is my favorite reason to have manicures, so i can watch my pretty fingernails/hand go deep inside someone else and come out all wet.
Anonymous asked: I'm struggling with a couple of things. First: no matter how I feel about myself, other people are always going to look at me with disgust, and I'm never going to be able to ignore that, and I know it, and it makes me miserable even when my own self-perception is ok. Second: the world is terrible, and it keeps getting worse, and the little nuggets of good aren't keeping me going...
Anonymous asked: Do you mind if I call you sunshine?
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Anonymous asked: Are you feeling a little better than you were earlier, sunshine?
We deserve nothing, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have it. The world is filled with blessings and curses and we make up the stories that fit us.
Anonymous asked: I've been struggling with internalizing messages of acceptance recently and it's throwing me off my game. Intellectually I know my body is perfectly fine, but putting that into practice is getting exponentially harder. It makes me feel like shit because I feel like shit and also because I feel like a giant fraud. Like my life, which is relatively centered on my activism, feels like a...
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How to cope with bad days
pickyourheartupoffthefloor answered your question: This is now an advice column.
how do you cope with bad days?
Here’s a small list
* Yoga
* Klonopin/xanax
* I stay home and watch movies
* I go out and hang with friends
* Pet my dogs
* Eat my favorite foods
* Take a fancy bath
* Read a book
* sleep, if sleeping doesn’t make me more anxious
* Write on my tumblr or my private...
This is now an advice column.
I feel like answering advicey questions today. Feel free to stick one in my ask.
Oh I’m also pretty good at picking out gifts, so if you need gift ideas - shoot me that too
?
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Honestly I kind of want to dress like Darlene Conner like every single day. Just layers of giant hair and black blankety things.
As it stands, I’m wearing a black dress with white hearts, black tights, black wedge lace-up boots, a gray hoodie and a black leather jacket. So it’s not that far off I suppose - well you know, minus the 2 tons of curly brown hair .
1990s fashion wikipedia →
In the mid-1990s the grunge style resulted in a decline in bright colors from 1995 until the late 2000s, and was dominated by tartan flannel shirts, stonewashed blue jeans, and dark colors like maroon, forest green, indigo, brown, white and black.
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How to identify and get out of a bad relationship →
This is one of the best pieces I’ve read about how we can easily get wrapped up in bad relationships out of the blue - even if we’re smart, awesome and super on top of our own shit.
Great list of how to identify shitty behaviors and how to get out of those bad romances. So so so good.
You are going to get home. You already are: you are in control of your own life. All you have to...
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You’re all busy watching ads and balls and I’m sitting here staring at a white screen, trying to come up with a way to talk about how I feel right now.
There’s a full moon in 2 days. My period in 5. Whoremoans don’t begin to cover the language needed to describe my mental state.
I have spent years working on myself. And that means figuring out what I want and probably...
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real talk
Real talk
My ex, D - the last cis guy I dated (we broke up 2 years ago after a year of dating but not fucking), is struggling a lot right now. He tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago, and has threatened to do so quite a bit in the past year. I have so little in common with him anymore - he’s 34 years old, but hangs out with 20 year old artist kids on the other side of town. he sells...
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Anonymous asked: Hi. She broke my heart, she blames me for everything, and now I need new friends. A new city. A new life. I shouldn't drink and tumbl.
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my new hairs
Good brunch, but the server kept peppering us with “ladies” to which my trans masculine boo said “hey dude, you don’t have to keep calling us ladies - because we aren’t”
I know he gets it more when he hangs out with me because I present very femme, but it is still really jarring every time. The reality is despite presenting femme, I’m not fond of being...
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